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Chapter-1
Never kiss your mother in front of others
My name is A.G. and I hate school very much.
Do you know what is worst day of week?If you want my opinion ,it is Monday.Because Monday is first day of week and we must go to school five days one by one day .It is terrible!
Tuesday and Wednesday also is not likely.
Thursday is very good day,because only one day is remained to weekend.
Friday is without any speech! Because one week lesson and exercise is finished .
But best day of week ,is Saturday .Because two days is off. Saturdays I play American football.
How much bad today is Monday.In front of our house,with my mother I was waiting school bus.
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My mother told :"A.G.,be a good boy."
O.K.-
My mother told:"Do not make trouble! A.G."
-O.K.
My mother told :"When in classroom you want to ask something,remember that rise your hand and take permission."
-O.K.
My mother told :"Do not through out papers to daughters."
-O.K.
My mother told hundred millions other things that I told O.K. Until my eyes saw yellow bus of school which was coming from street corner.
I told:" Mama I promise not to make pleasure in school at all ,good bye!"
Bus stopped . Mrs. Douglas ,bus driver,pushed a button and a small sign of stop was out from bus besides until cars in the street stop. We called this sign ,glorious sign ,it is fantastic.
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My mother told:"Kiss me A.G."
It was not possible in front of so many children who were looking me from bus window ,I let my mother to kiss me. This is first law of being child. When other children are looking you ,never kiss your mother!
-I do not want be late in school,Mama.
-Kiss me ,A.G.
-It is not possible Mama.
-Kiss me ,A.G.
_If you pass my body ,Mama.
-Kiss me ,A.G.
I told :"I kiss if you give me a hundred Dollar note."
My mother tried to catch me ,but I know how to escape from invadors. When My mother came to catch me ,I drew my head to one side ,turned around myself and did some movement of feet which I have taught in American football ,she had no chance !
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I escaped and ran towards bus ,until she could not catch me or kiss me.
Ha Ha Ha ! my mother at all does not know play American football .We buy burned nose!
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Chapter -2
Secret language of Mrs. Douglas
Quickly I got on to the bus and I saw our driver Mrs.Douglas. She had a helmet on her head and hang a silver whistle on her neck.
When she saw me told :"Hello ,A.G."
-Hello Mrs.Douglas.
Mrs. Douglas instead of "hello" says "sam boli balik". Once I asked her why she does not say like normal people "hello".
She said :"I have made my secret language." Everbody says "hello" . But I think "hello" is very bothering .I am trying to work on people until instead "hello" they say: "sam boli balik" . Secret languages are joyful!"
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Mrs. Douglas has something wrong.
Mrs. Douglas told: "shambal can in garage" in secret language of Mrs.Douglas it means "sit down".
I looked around the bus .In front row ,behind Mrs. Douglas there was a pre-school child which water was pouring his nose ,in back row ,some children of fifth class and angry were sitting.
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Fifth class children really were bad mood,because they have so many lessons and exercises. One how much have lessons and exercise ,will be bad mooded. This is reason fifth class children are worse than fourth class and fourth class are worse than third class and third class worse than second class . It is better you do not close to seventh and eight class children .They have very much lesson and exercise and for this reason hate world and man . I want God never I step to high school . In middle of bus ,I was sitting alone . Corner of next street ,Mrs Douglas stopped the bus and some other children got on the bus . In next stop ,my friends Rayan and Michael got on .
Mrs. Douglas told Rayan and Michael :"sam boli balik! Shambal can in garage".
Rayan and Michael sat near me. Rayan asked ;"for ring "show and tell "what have you brought? I have brought a light."
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Michael told :"I have brought a camva".
"Show and tell ",that is we bring something from home which is beginning with especial alphabet and in class room we describe it .Today was turn of letter "k".
I brought out my "show and tell" from my bag . It was a warrior doll which was made from cartoon characters called Karate captain . In cartoon ,he is super hero who has come from future and is traveler of time and with a sharp sword which is connected to his hands fight with men . He can be changed to jet airplanes ,and if push a button he will fly . I saw advertisement of this doll in television and told many times to my father and mother that finally purchased for me.
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I thought perhaps Rayan and Michael did not see advertisement ,so I said :"Captain Karate is member of a secret organization which is fighting with murder and guilt. "
Rayan told:"Certainly you will get more scores,because captain karate has two k."
Michael told:"It is very fantastic.Sometimes I take my old warrior dolls in underground and my father let me to divide them with saw or torture them with electrical drill ."
Rayan told:"I take mine under the sun and melt their faces with lens. "
Michael and Rayan are strange.
In next stop ,this brown hair girl who is in our class and play with my nerves and thinks she is total wisdom ,rides bus.
Mrs. Douglas said :"sam boli balik ,Andria!"
Andria told:"sam boli balik ,now I go shambal can in garage."
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How much self seet! Anti mood Andria dropped with all body on front chair and told:"good morning ,Arlo."
I hate him very much.
Andria's Mama understood that A.G. is abbreviation of Arlo Gerois ,so,Andria went and cried everyone .That day was worst day of my life .I was feeling I was dying .I liked to change my school or going to south pole and live with penguins ,but my mother did not permit .
Penguins are very fantastic.
Andria asked :"let's see ,are you boys ready for dictation examination this afternoon?"
Wow not,this dictation examination completely I have forgotten!How they expect us in weekend these thing to be remembered? Weekends are for recreation and toot ,not for studying for examination. I hate dictation very much.
Andria asked :" Do you know dictation of word dictation ,A.G.?"
I told :" Of course,I-h-a-t-e-y-o-u-."
Michael and Rayan laughed.
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Andria told us:" I have made card for words of today's dictation and want to use them in ring "show and tell".Because card is beginning with letter k.
I wanted to say Andria that crass also begins with letter K and this word is very similar to him ,but I decided to keep it for next time if he make me very angry , I tell it.
Andria turned against us and I took captain karate behind his head ,and pretend to attack with sword to Andria .
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Michael and Rayan laughed .Suddenly Andria quickly turned his face so that I could not draw back captain karate .
Andria said :" What a pretty doll you have,Arlo."
I told him :"This is not doll ! This is a warrior character !"
Andria told :"My mother tells that warrior characters ,are dolls especially for boys."
I told:" not!"
He told :"Yes,they are dolls."
In sum,sometimes I told and he told.
I told Andria :" Captain karate solely destroys cars. He is member of a secret organization which is fighting with crime and murder.If captain karate fights with one of your dolls ,will pick his head completely."
Andria said:"Dolls do not fight."
I said:"Captain karate fights."
-You that said it is not doll ,Arlo.
Why a bus full of alphabet cards does not drop on his head?
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